Quote from: Ossku on November 26, 2014, 02:14:12 PM

Tell him that youre a faggot and you hate yourself.

It worked for you and Casper

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOL

Dear Flood,

My roommate is gay. We were good friends, so when he told me, I had no problem with it, until about a week ago, when he asked if I've ever masturbated to him.

Now he's in my bed caressing my pillow. He does this every day. I've told him to leave, but he refuses, telling me it makes him feel "sexy" when he's in my bed. He's also walked around the room with no pants or underwear on. He thinks I'm attracted to him when I've tried to make it very clear that he's not my type.

Since he's in the room pretty much 24/7, I'm pretty sure he's been jerking off in my bed and trying on my clothes while I'm at work or class. He's mentally fragile, and very clingy, so if I tell him that he's a faggot and that I hate him, I'm afraid he would kill himself, which would be sad because we've been good friends for years. What should I do?

Funny, I always thought you were the obese one who liked taking it up the ass.

Quote from: Numb Digger on November 26, 2014, 12:38:08 PM

Quote from: Casper on November 26, 2014, 12:36:38 PM

Quote from: Numb Digger on November 26, 2014, 12:35:09 PM

Quote from: Casper on November 26, 2014, 12:24:39 PM

I hate being called that..

And why might that be, my dear boy?

Same reason people call me emo, I guess..

Okay... I've never been called a vampire before, though.

It isn't pleasant.
And it doesn't help that I'm so pale.

I'm as white as a ghost, too.

It's not really a secret, but we don't really tell that many people about it. A couple years ago, my family was on vacation in Nevada. We went to Las Vegas and went to the shows and whatnot. It's crazy how many people have vitamin deficiencies in Las Vegas. (I was in medical school at the time and I couldn't go anywhere without trying to diagnose people.) Anyway, after my dad lost $150 at the casino we decided to take a little detour to Reno, because my fucking sister, and aspiring fashion designer, wanted to visit some faggy Italian guy who was famous for popularizing this 'revolutionary' way to hand-dye clothes.

So we get to Reno and after asking the locals we find out he's doing a demonstration of his gay little technique at a nearby bookstore. After 30 minutes of disorienting directions we finally find the store, but as walked inside, we had no idea where Mr. Bigshot designer was until we walked over to the group of 10 or so people crowded around his twitching body.

I recognized hyperglycemia when I saw it, and I also recognized that this guy needed to be injected with insulin as soon as possible. I rushed to the body, and found his insulin kit in his breast pocket. Without hesitation I prepped the needle and drove it into his abdomen. After 15 minutes or so, he woke up, with all seven of his fans gathered around him, my sister included. He was so grateful he insisted on making one of his stupid shirts for my sister. I guess the TL;DR of this story is, I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him dye.

I hate being called that..

And why might that be, my dear boy?

I don't get it.

I mean real, true vampires. I am.

I had my awakening last year when I was 17. After a night of hanging out with some friends, I was visited by a vampire. He called himself Triumverus Caer. He came in through my bedroom window and spoke to me about his ability and his council.

He placed his hands upon my chest and I soon felt very cold. I dropped to my knees and looked up to him. He grabbed me by my neck and sunk his beautiful fangs into it. Oh, the feeling of such power coursing through my veins was almost orgasmic, I passed out from the pleasure.

When I awoke, there was a small scroll on the floor in front of my body. I sat up slowly, my whole body was dead cold. When i reached out for it and read it. I understood it completely. This is strange because it was written in Latin. It told me about my newfound powers.

What are my powers you ask? I have the ability to withdraw the energy from your body. A psychic vampire. This kind of vampire is special because I can still go out in the sun and have a normal functioning life. I feed off energy instead of blood.

So, here I am now, I've had my powers for little over a year. They're great. I'm in very high respect of the elders and I've become a sire to a few of my own underlings.

Israel
One Holocaust wasn't enough.

Yeah, because holocaust jokes are funny. To be quite Anne Frank with you, I don't like you anymore.

Quote from: Yutaka on November 25, 2014, 07:02:13 PM

Quote from: Casper on November 25, 2014, 06:58:06 PM

I prefer cran-apple.

Ew.

I'm sorry not all of us drink bean juice.

Das racist man

Quote from: Numb Digger on November 25, 2014, 07:00:36 PM

Quote from: BioSmiley on November 25, 2014, 07:00:06 PM

Quote from: Numb Digger on November 25, 2014, 06:58:25 PM

OP is like a quasar, except instead of radiation it emits stupidity.

Don't talk about yourself like that. It's not nice.

But I'm talking about OP.

Fine, we both emit stupidity. Everyone does.

No, I'm not a stupid quasar. My atoms aren't emit stupidity. They are not stupidactive.

OP is like a quasar, except instead of radiation it emits stupidity.

Quote from: Numb Digger on November 25, 2014, 06:41:17 PM

Thank you Nuka, for helping me find this site. You were the one who advertised it waayyy back in September on the Warframe forums. I went back to check the thread to see if it was someone from here, and it was you. So thanks for that again.

I wish more people from the Warframe forums would give this place a shot.

Me too. They would really freshen this place up a bit, especially their more avid posters.

Cheeseburger. He'll know what it means.

Have sex with me.