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Topics - clum clum
Pages: 1 ... 111213 1415 ... 27
361
« on: January 29, 2015, 09:13:18 AM »
How do you put a baby in a blender, feet or head first? Spoiler Feet first, that way it can still give you a blowjob
362
« on: January 28, 2015, 08:07:11 PM »
What is your opinion on fig newtons (or fig rolls, for us bongs), you fig newtons? I like them.
363
« on: January 28, 2015, 07:39:50 PM »
 So that's it, huh? Society is really committed to going down this path of being okay with people destroying themselves with food.
364
« on: January 28, 2015, 04:36:43 PM »
Do you believe it is a carcinogen? Do you think it should be banned?
I would also like say that "diet" sodas are worse for you than regular sodas. If you really have to choose between them, choose a regular soda. Even though diet sodas are sugar and calorie free, the sweeteners still trigger the production of insulin, causing the exact same fat storage effect as consuming regular sugar would.
365
« on: January 28, 2015, 03:21:36 PM »
Suggest an avatar for me to use. I can't decide on anything.
366
« on: January 28, 2015, 02:48:00 PM »
What is your opinion on Chris-Chan? I think he is a tumour on society. When his fat-ass mother finally drops, he'll probably end up an heroing. Which is a good thing. Also, weird thing is all of the other Chandler children grew up with successful lives (His sister is an official in D.C, one of his brothers is a fancy eye doctor and the other one is a well-to-do movie critic living in New York (This brother also hates his guts). Fortunately, most of these siblings are not aware of this abomination.  In the event that you are unfamiliar with Chris, here is a few links to get you started. https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Chris-chanhttp://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Christian_Weston_Chandler
367
« on: January 27, 2015, 07:22:04 PM »
368
« on: January 27, 2015, 05:08:52 PM »
I fucking hate it, personally. It's garbage. 
369
« on: January 26, 2015, 06:28:16 PM »
It has been 293 years since Decimator Omega returned to the forums.
Feel old yet?
370
« on: January 26, 2015, 05:09:39 PM »
 Ayy lmao
371
« on: January 25, 2015, 07:43:33 PM »
372
« on: January 25, 2015, 04:05:32 PM »
373
« on: January 25, 2015, 08:19:10 AM »
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« on: January 25, 2015, 07:48:42 AM »
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« on: January 25, 2015, 06:16:47 AM »
THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED.
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« on: January 24, 2015, 03:39:25 PM »
 Do you like my skinsuit?
377
« on: January 24, 2015, 01:43:33 PM »
One night, I am in bed, beating my wife, when phone ring. I beat phone, then pick it up. I hear voice. Voice says "What you do with my daughter?!"
I turn to wife and demand to know why her father interrupt me beating her. But she say, her father is dead! Then, KGB break into house and arrest me for illegal possession of phone.
Such is life in Moscow.
378
« on: January 24, 2015, 10:56:12 AM »
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« on: January 24, 2015, 09:21:00 AM »
Many classic horror icons, and other disturbing creatures, share common characteristics. Pale skin, dark, sunken eyes, elongated faces, sharp teeth, and the like. These images inspire horror and revulsion in many, and with good reason. The characteristics shared by these faces are imprinted in the human mind.
Many things frighten humans instinctively. The fear is natural, and does not need to be reinforced in order to terrify. The fears are species-wide, stemming from dark times in the past when lightning could mean the burning of your tree home, thunder could be the approaching gallops of a stampede, predators could hide in darkness, and heights could make poor footing lethal.
The question you have to ask yourself is this:
What happened, deep in the hidden eras before history began, that could effect the entire human race so evenly as to give the entire species a deep, instinctual, and lasting fear of pale beings with dark, sunken eyes, razor sharp teeth, and elongated faces?
… Just be careful out there.
380
« on: January 24, 2015, 07:32:53 AM »
381
« on: January 24, 2015, 07:17:13 AM »
 Are these people legit or are they just trolls/gimmicks? I'm finding it hard to believe there's people out there like this. I mean, they might have assburgers, but even then, that's really extreme.
382
« on: January 23, 2015, 07:59:21 PM »
383
« on: January 23, 2015, 06:12:11 PM »
 >don't fuck with me on this WELL THAT DIDN'T MATTER TO YOUR RAPIST LOL
384
« on: January 23, 2015, 04:17:40 PM »
In 1983, a team of deeply pious scientists conducted a radical experiment in an undisclosed facility. The scientists had theorized that a human without access to any senses or ways to perceive stimuli would be able to perceive the presence of God. They believed that the five senses clouded our awareness of eternity, and without them, a human could actually establish contact with God by thought. An elderly man who claimed to have “nothing left to live for” was the only test subject to volunteer. To purge him of all his senses, the scientists performed a complex operation in which every sensory nerve connection to the brain was surgically severed. Although the test subject retained full muscular function, he could not see, hear, taste, smell, or feel. With no possible way to communicate with or even sense the outside world, he was alone with his thoughts. Scientists monitored him as he spoke aloud about his state of mind in jumbled, slurred sentences that he couldn’t even hear. After four days, the man claimed to be hearing hushed, unintelligible voices in his head. Assuming it was an onset of psychosis, the scientists paid little attention to the man’s concerns. Two days later, the man cried that he could hear his dead wife speaking with him, and even more, he could communicate back. The scientists were intrigued, but were not convinced until the subject started naming dead relatives of the scientists. He repeated personal information to the scientists that only their dead spouses and parents would have known. At this point, a sizable portion of scientists left the study.
After a week of conversing with the deceased through his thoughts, the subject became distressed, saying the voices were overwhelming. In every waking moment, his consciousness was bombarded by hundreds of voices that refused to leave him alone. He frequently threw himself against the wall, trying to elicit a pain response. He begged the scientists for sedatives, so he could escape the voices by sleeping. This tactic worked for three days, until he started having severe night terrors. The subject repeatedly said that he could see and hear the deceased in his dreams.
Only a day later, the subject began to scream and claw at his non-functional eyes, hoping to sense something in the physical world. The hysterical subject now said the voices of the dead were deafening and hostile, speaking of hell and the end of the world. At one point, he yelled “No heaven, no forgiveness” for five hours straight. He continually begged to be killed, but the scientists were convinced that he was close to establishing contact with God.
After another day, the subject could no longer form coherent sentences. Seemingly mad, he started to bite off chunks of flesh from his arm. The scientists rushed into the test chamber and restrained him to a table so he could not kill himself. After a few hours of being tied down, the subject halted his struggling and screaming. He stared blankly at the ceiling as teardrops silently streaked across his face. For two weeks, the subject had to be manually rehydrated due to the constant crying. Eventually, he turned his head and, despite his blindness, made focused eye contact with a scientist for the first time in the study. He whispered “I have spoken with God, and he has abandoned us” and his vital signs stopped. There was no apparent cause of death.
385
« on: January 23, 2015, 09:42:26 AM »
Try this. Turn off music. Turn off TV. If you are greedy capitalist and have machine, turn off computer. Go to next room, and sit, do not dance, do not drink, be as quiet as Jew during pogrom. Does Comrade Russian hear sound? Itsy bitsy ringing? Glorious People say it is brain making up a sound to explain reason why Russian is not drinking or dancing.
People lied.
Silly Americans can not tell you what making sound, Smart Russians can because are not silly bourgeoise with book and film.
It is wail of gypsy. If gypsy is planning to steal item in house, evil gypsy wail alerts holy Russian Orthodox Church. Find gypsy, hit gypsy with hand, then drink Vodka until sound go away. Then hit gypsy child until child is no longer gypsy.
Such is life for gypsy in Russia.
And no amount of running will save you.
386
« on: January 23, 2015, 09:05:52 AM »
During a wedding reception of a young couple the guests decided on a drunken game of hide and seek. It was decided that the groom was “it” and he eventually found everyone but his new bride. Eventually the man became furious and decided it wasn’t funny anymore and left her there. As weeks went by he accepted that she’d had second thoughts and went on with her life so he did the same. A few years later a cleaning lady dusted off an old trunk in the attic of the building where the reception had taken place, out of curiosity she opened it. Inside the trunk was the rotted body of the missing bride who’d apparently became locked in the trunk she’d hid in. Whether she’d suffocated or starved was unknown, but her face was frozen in a scream and there were huge scratches in the inside of the trunk where she had tried to get back to the man she loved.
387
« on: January 22, 2015, 07:10:59 PM »
The Academy Award winning Film Frozen, from Disney Animation studios, that premiered in Theaters in 2013 is not what you may believe it to be.
Frozen centers around a fantastical story of princesses, princes, animals, and a love both lost and found. These are all common themes of Disney Movie Magic. As is a common theme with classic Disney film, there are many different rumors and theories that follow the film around. A personal favorite of mine is towards the beginning of the film, Anna, the princess whom the film centers around, is killed by Elsa’s Ice abilities. The Trolls resurrect her, but as a decaying undead creature; thus leading the song “Do You Want to Build a Snowman” to be far more malicious. Anna asks to be let into the room with Elsa, begging and pleading for years; she even resorts to killing their parents knowing Elsa can only sit in her room, listen, and cry.
This is one of my favorite theories; however, it loses it’s validity. The movie continues on. Elsa and Anna meet again during Elsa’s Coronation. Anna continues on her journey to save the town of Arendelle. I have come to a new conclusion; It may not include zombies and hidden conspiracies, but it is the truth.
The previous theory was close with its assumptions, but Anna never died at the beginning of the film when her and here sister were playing. Elsa never even had the magic powers that the movie would lead us to believe.
Anna came to Elsa in the middle of the night and asked for her to play in the snow. Like little girls do, they break the rules and go outside together. Unfortunately, Anna falls unconscious when climbing one of the dunes of snow outside their home in beautiful frozen Arendelle. Anna’s mind piecing together what makes sense for her as a small child, saw her parents take her to trolls instead of a hospital. The Doctor told her parents to keep Anna’s condition a secret from her and let her enjoy her life as it is and without worry; in truth however, The Doctor had explained to her parents that Anna had a brain tumor. Given the current time period, there is little that could be done, and so their only option was to wait until the inevitable would take place.
Anna would never know, but Elsa, the older sister understood and blamed herself for the tumor’s discovery. As Anna grew older and the movie progresses. Elsa distances herself form her sister in fear that anything she could do could only make things worse.
That is until she is forced to come out of her room her her coronation as Queen of Arendelle. During the ceremony, Elsa is constantly telling herself to conceal and not feel the guilt she has when seeing her sister. The tumor finally began to put pressure on Anna brain, warping her perceptions of reality. These warped perceptions cause her to fall in love with a man she meets moments before seeing the magic that we as an audience are able to see.
Realizing her sisters condition is becoming worse, Elsa flees the kingdom; she is unable to cope with the reality before her.
At this point the snow begins to fall freezing Arendelle in Anna’s mind, but in reality the snow is simply a fuzz that begins to cloud Anna’s mind. Anna sets out after her sister, while Hans stays to guard the Kingdom. Hans, in and act of love and sympathy for his new fiancé, agrees and begins to care for the people in the absence of their government figures.
Anna, in search of her sister, comes across Kristoff. Seeing the girl’s poor condition, he aids her in her search. They discover Elsa hiding atop a mountain, away from everyone. Unfortunately, the exertion and the tumor combine causing Anna to collapse into a coma before her sister.
For the rest of the film, we view Anna’s dreams while in her coma; filled in what she believes to be the next logical steps to her delusions. All the while her snow storm growths thicker and thicker. Finally, as a form of understanding she starts to see her condition as a magical one that consumes her heart. Anna’s body feeds signals into her coma induced mind forcing her to feel colder as the end becomes closer.
Outside of her coma, Kristoff helps Elsa and Anna back to the kingdom. Elsa relieves Hans of his responsibilities, but leaves him grief stricken and heart broken at the state of his fiancé. Unfortunately, however, Anna would never know it. The three, now brought together as as friends are forced to watch on as Anna slowly passes away.
In the end, Anna sees herself turn to solid ice, clearing the snow storm and giving her a moments clarity. She sees her sister in tears. Hans in awe and Kristoff still running to her side to aid her. Just as they are by her bed side. Unfortunately, she is freed form her perceived to be ice like form and sees the sun rise. This symbolizes what we have come to call a light at the end of the tunnel or what is scientifically know as electrical pulses behind her closed eyes, signifying brain death.
This is not entirely as depressing as you would think. A good part to this story is that she still see her happy ending and gets everything she asked for. That is still what we always want out of a Disney movie.
Even if the reality that Anna left behind is now filled with grief and the constant question: “What now?”
388
« on: January 22, 2015, 05:15:29 PM »
Lets start with an old classic.  The Curious Case Of Smile.jpg Spoiler I first met in person with Mary E. in the summer of 2007. I had arranged with her husband of fifteen years, Terence, to see her for an interview. Mary had initially agreed, since I was not a newsman but rather an amateur writer gathering information for a few early college assignments and, if all went according to plan, some pieces of fiction. We scheduled the interview for a particular weekend when I was in Chicago on unrelated business, but at the last moment Mary changed her mind and locked herself in the couple’s bedroom, refusing to meet with me. For half an hour I sat with Terence as we camped outside the bedroom door, I listening and taking notes while he attempted fruitlessly to calm his wife. The things Mary said made little sense but fit with the pattern I was expecting: though I could not see her, I could tell from her voice that she was crying, and more often than not her objections to speaking with me centered around an incoherent diatribe on her dreams -- her nightmares. Terence apologized profusely when we ceased the exercise, and I did my best to take it in stride; recall that I wasn’t a reporter in search of a story, but merely a curious young man in search of information. Besides, I thought at the time, I could perhaps find another, similar case if I put my mind and resources to it.
Mary E. was the sysop for a small Chicago-based Bulletin Board System in 1992 when she first encountered smile.jpg and her life changed forever. She and Terence had been married for only five months. Mary was one of an estimated 400 people who saw the image when it was posted as a hyperlink on the BBS, though she is the only one who has spoken openly about the experience. The rest have remained anonymous, or are perhaps dead. In 2005, when I was only in tenth grade, smile.jpg was first brought to my attention by my burgeoning interest in web-based phenomena; Mary was the most often cited victim of what is sometimes referred to as “Smile.dog,” the being smile.jpg is reputed to display. What caught my interest (other than the obvious macabre elements of the cyber-legend and my proclivity toward such things) was the sheer lack of information, usually to the point that people don’t believe it even exists other than as a rumor or hoax.
It is unique because, though the entire phenomenon centers on a picture file, that file is nowhere to be found on the internet; certainly many photomanipulated simulacra litter the web, showing up with the most frequency on sites such as the imageboard 4chan, particularly the /x/-focused paranormal subboard. It is suspected these are fakes because they do not have the effect the true smile.jpg is believed to have, namely sudden onset temporal lobe epilepsy and acute anxiety. This purported reaction in the viewer is one of the reasons the phantom-like smile.jpg is regarded with such disdain, since it is patently absurd, though depending on whom you ask the reluctance to acknowledge smile.jpg’s existence might be just as much out of fear as it is out of disbelief.
Neither smile.jpg nor Smile.dog is mentioned anywhere on Wikipedia, though the website features articles on such other, perhaps more scandalous shocksites as ****** (hello.jpg) or 2girls1cup; any attempt to create a page pertaining to smile.jpg is summarily deleted by any of the encyclopedia’s many admins.
Encounters with smile.jpg are the stuff of internet legend. Mary E.’s story is not unique; there are unverified rumors of smile.jpg showing up in the early days of Usenet and even one persistent tale that in 2002 a hacker flooded the forums of humor and satire website Something Awful with a deluge of Smile.dog pictures, rendering almost half the forum’s users at the time epileptic. It is also said that in the mid-to-late 90s that smile.jpg circulated on usenet and as an attachment of a chain email with the subject line “SMILE!! GOD LOVES YOU!” Yet despite the huge exposure these stunts would generate, there are very few people who admit to having experienced any of them and no trace of the file or any link has ever been discovered.
Those who claim to have seen smile.jpg often weakly joke that they were far too busy to save a copy of the picture to their hard drive. However, all alleged victims offer the same description of the photo: A dog-like creature (usually described as appearing similar to a Siberian husky), illuminated by the flash of the camera, sits in a dim room, the only background detail that is visible being a human hand extending from the darkness near the left side of the frame. The hand is empty, but is usually described as “beckoning.” Of course, most attention is given to the dog (or dog-creature, as some victims are more certain than others about what they claim to have seen). The muzzle of the beast is reputedly split in a wide grin, revealing two rows of very white, very straight, very sharp, very human-looking teeth.
389
« on: January 22, 2015, 04:01:20 PM »
Post music with retro vibes. I'll start with some dark 80's retro synth.
390
« on: January 22, 2015, 03:41:49 PM »
 tonight the trancformation is complete
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