I went to the Coast Guard Academy, so we didn't have Drill Sergeants/Company Commanders, just senior cadets who are the cadre for our version of basic training.

One of the things we have to do is, when running through the building, turn all corners at exactly 90 degrees, and we have to keep our arms pinned to our sides (bent at 90 degrees, forearms parallel to the deck, upper arm perpendicular).

One kid always ran with his hands open while doing this, instead of closed fists for some reason. When the cadre saw that, they had him yell "ROAR I'M A TREX SIR" and wave his stubby little claw arms around every time he squared a corner.

And then I would get in trouble for laughing my ass off in the hallway.

Not a soldier but a Marine here, and this is always my favorite. Before we start, it should be known my last name is Miller, you'll understand why its relevant. It was 0030 (12:30 AM) and I was standing 'Firewatch' (standing guard in front of the door to make sure nobody came in without proper authority, among other duties).

My DI walks in with some random ass recruit. He yells 'You! Stand in front of Firewatch!' and the kid just walks in front of me. Then he yells 'State your name!' and the kid yells 'RECRUIT MILLER, SIR!'. Then my DI yells 'Firewatch, state your name!' and I yell 'RECRUIT MILLER, SIR!'. My DI then goes 'Well holy shit. It looks like we have TWO Recruit Millers! It looks like we're gonna have to find out who the real Recruit Miller is...'.

For the next 10 minutes we had to scream out the top of our lungs back and forth 'YOU'RE NOT THE REAL RECRUIT MILLER, THIS RECRUIT IS!'. Half the fucking platoon got woken up, they pretended to cough to cover up their laughter, and for the rest of bootcamp all the recruits called me 'The Real Recruit Miller'. Good fuckin times.

There's more to the story but its already long enough and I'm sure nobody really cares

Since a few people asked for it, scroll down and theres a little reply to Penguinman575 where I go into the rest of the story.

Well alright, here it goes. So after that took place, another DI came up and said 'Enough of this shit, we're going to figure out who the real Recruit Miller is my way'. He asks us both what our PFT scores were (physical fitness test). He was faster than me but I outdid him in pullups, so my DI looked at him and said 'So, you're the faster Miller', then back at me and said 'and you're the stronger Miller... so what would happen if we... if we combined the two Millers together?!' I had no clue what the fuck to say but the first thing that popped into my head was 'A BETTER MILLER, SIR!' and he looked at me with huge, wide eyes and said 'You're damn right a better Miller, it'd be like a... LIKE A SUPER MILLER OR SOME SHIT!'. He was no shit treating it like if we combined us two Millers together we would become the USMC version of Captain America.

Anyways, that was the last any DIs spoke of the 'Real Recruit Miller' incident as we called it, atleast until Marine week. After we finish the Crucible (a 3 day event with little sleep or food and a lot of events, finished with a 10 mile hike with packs and gear) you become a Marine and spend the last week as Marine instead of recruit. It just so happened that somehow the day we finished The Crucible there was a wildfire on it, smoke was EVERYWHERE. The night before heading back to Recruit Depot, I was outside for firewatch guarding Seabags (green bags that we carry gear in). There was so much smoke I could barely see 5 feet infront of me, but as I stood guard my Drill Instructor came up and said 'What are you doing, firewatch?' and I said 'Guarding seabags Gunnery Sgt!'. He said 'Miller, is that you?' and I replied it was. He said 'Miller, is there a fire?' and I replied yes again. He asked 'Where is it?' and I told him I didn't know. He said 'There is no fire, Miller. Me and Sgt _____ just went on a patrol. Its out now. Its safe'. I responded with an ayeaye and he said 'I have a job for you Miller. We can't go back to the Depot with our bags smelling like smoke. Do you know why?' and I said I didn't, he responded 'If we go back smelling like smoke recruits are gonna think there was a fire. Then they're gonna get scared. We can't have that happening. So, I want you to get all the smoke out of the seabags'. I said 'Ayeaye, Gunnery Sgt' and he said 'Do you know how to get the smoke out, Miller?'. I said no and he said 'Like this' and made this movement with his arms. I said ayeaye, and he said, in a very quite, very serious tone 'Miller... are you the real Private Miller?' and I excitedly scream 'YES GUNNERY SGT!' and he firmly says 'Than you know what I expect of you' and walked into the barracks. I spend 15 minutes flapping the smoke out of seabags until the next hour relieved me from firewatch and was confused as fuck as to why I was doing it.

Long story short, the RDC's look every wrapper and hid them around the building one night, and woke us all up to find every last wrapper that hey hid. That was a long nigh/day.

For the most part it was serious business as usual through out the base, but you could tell there were a few RDC's with that twinkle in their eye for a good time. From time to time when you were marching or in line for the good ol' fashion hurry up and wait, RDC's would get behind you and just start screaming shit, like once I had two RDC's sing then entire song of "Party in the USA" right behind my back, trying to get us to laugh so they could beat us.

Some of the best shit was them throwing anything they could get their hands on, across the room, Racks, chairs, table.

On this one occasion we were going through a thorough rack inspection. Everything had to be folded to the T and edged off of everything. Well I fucked up, like we all do in boot, and didnt fold a blue t-shirt correctly so i was forced to do 50 push ups. Not shit, bang them out, but feeling lazy, so I only do about 40. So the ass-hat next to me yells out "Petty officer, Socomplex only did 40" and i give him the most horrifying fucking death stare of my life. People around the room are all looking him him like 'Da Fuq'. RDC comes back. "IS THIS TRUE, DID YOU ONLY DO 40 FUCKING PUSHUPS?" "YES PETTY OFFICER" "WELL THEN, IF YOUR GOING TO FUCK ME OUT OF 10 PUSHUPS, YOU BETTER NOT LET YOUR BUDDY FUCKER BLUE FALCON RACK MATE SEE" then he left me to my last 10 pushups. But for those last 10. I made them painfully slow, and stared into the eyes of my buddy fucker as I counted off "ONE BUDDY FUCKER, TWO BUDDY FUCKER" ect.. The whole compartment was laughing so hard as this kid started crying. He was later medically separated due to a broke arm. It was for the best of the division.