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Messages - Elegiac

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21991
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:32:10 AM »
No. I'll say it. I'm slogging knee deep through a depression right now. I get down in the fall when it rolls in, and I stay that way until winter comes. It's an outside depression, not something I can deal with well. But right now it's feeding my own depression. I was in a really low spot a few years back, but I managed to recover. But I didn't beat it. It was always there, in the background.

And these last couple of months have been hard. My insecurities, my doubts, are all just fuel for the fire now. And I know where I'm headed. Every day I get worse and worse. And I'm doing the best I can to fight  it, but I can't. Last time, I had a goal, a reason to keep going. This time, I don't. It's only a matter of days before I start to get really down, and my perception of things shifts.

Today I am angry, perpetually, because I'm trying to fight it. I'm trying to stand up, and do something. And none of it is working. But I'm stubborn. So, by the end of the day, or the evening, I'll feel burnt out out, beaten. And I'll go to sleep early, in the hopes that tomorrow will be better.

And I know it won't. I'll get caught in the same trap, over and over.
Is there something about Autumn?

21992
The Flood / Re: Look at your music collection.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:27:42 AM »
Nearly all male, I listen to a wide range of genres ranging from rap, classical, rock, pop but I'm just not interested in female musicians.
Apart from nicki minaj

21994
The Flood / Re: This is a shitty parody thread
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:16:45 AM »

21995
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:15:50 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging
Example? :3
you're supposed to imagine it... errhmm... like your cornflakes sometimes crying like a baby, but not all the time... stuff to send a body mad, or depressed, or preferably both
Hmmm.....that's a tough one. I'll get in to thinking of one then.
Don't let it distract you from your other work though.

21996
The Flood / Re: This is a shitty parody thread
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:14:14 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?
No, it was a no.
Ohhhhhhh... I get it ;) sneaky. You're good at this.

21997
The Flood / Re: The deal with Doom DH.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:12:56 AM »
Easy, tigers. You gotta let me make deals au naturel, not try to squeeze them out of me.

21998
The Flood / Re: This is a shitty parody thread
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:10:36 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?

21999
The Flood / Re: The deal with Doom DH.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:09:10 AM »
Do me next.
I may. But I wouldn't know what to say, I'm not sure what your deal is.

22000
The Flood / Re: This is a shitty parody thread
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:05:53 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?

22001
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:04:07 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?

I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?

A story. Been writing stories now for a few years. Since I don't have any other use for my writing, I turn to things I spin up in my head. Places, people, times, that stuff.
Well, I hope we both recover.

I hope you do, at least. I already know what's happening on my end. I know how and why, and there's little I can do.
You don't want to say too much?

22002
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:03:26 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging
Example? :3
you're supposed to imagine it... errhmm... like your cornflakes sometimes crying like a baby, but not all the time... stuff to send a body mad, or depressed, or preferably both

22003
The Flood / Re: Winter is over.
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:00:40 AM »
> Lolstralia
>having a winter
>ever
Fuckinglol
I've got the gas fire on low right now. It's still a little cold yet.

22004
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:56:14 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?

I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?

A story. Been writing stories now for a few years. Since I don't have any other use for my writing, I turn to things I spin up in my head. Places, people, times, that stuff.
Well, I hope we both recover.

22005
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:55:38 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging

22006
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:51:10 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?

I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?

22007
The Flood / Re: Look at your music collection.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:49:28 AM »
A good mix, probably a little bit more male in there than female, but still a goodly pack of rockin' chicks.

22008
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:42:42 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?

22009
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:27:48 AM »
my shitty haikus

they are a prime example

of why i don't write
I think they're lovely.

22010
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:14:31 AM »
we call em both, it depends

don't forget wedges

22011
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:12:44 AM »
Sleep on it.
I've been sleeping on it for about two or three weeks. It ebbs, and then it rises up again, each time a little more insistent. But you're right. I'm obviously pregnant and I'll just have to wait out the term.
Who's the father?
autofellatio

22012
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:11:04 AM »
Speaking of writing, I still have an essay I have to finish, but I can't. :/
What's the issue?
I can't think of an ending. I'm supposed to type it, so I did, my compy froze killing all my work (Screw you, Google Drive) and it's due today, and it's part of a group thing. No pressure.
*has mental breakdown*
What are you going to do?

22013
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:10:05 AM »
Don't be mad lol, I'm sure you're not really a pleb or whatever, but that was a pretty coarse thing to post as a response, you sorta deserved to be called a pleb.
Get off the edge, Ele, it's not worth it.
*witty reply*

22014
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:06:08 AM »
Speaking of writing, I still have an essay I have to finish, but I can't. :/
What's the issue?

22015
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:05:39 AM »
Stop being so edgy.
What? Don't be so plebby, this is serious business.

>Being this mad
Don't be mad lol, I'm sure you're not really a pleb or whatever, but that was a pretty coarse thing to post as a response, you sorta deserved to be called a pleb.

22016
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:04:11 AM »
Sleep on it.
I've been sleeping on it for about two or three weeks. It ebbs, and then it rises up again, each time a little more insistent. But you're right. I'm obviously pregnant and I'll just have to wait out the term.

22017
The Flood / Re: I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:00:15 AM »
Stop being so edgy.
What? Don't be so plebby, this is serious business.

22018
The Flood / Re: Winter is over.
« on: September 15, 2014, 08:58:53 AM »
Here, take this damn hot weather. Just give me all your coldness
coldness en route

22019
The Flood / I'm having trouble writing.
« on: September 15, 2014, 08:57:11 AM »
I feel like there's a poem dying inside of me and it'll die unless I pull out its dismembered parts and operate, but it keeps coming out incomplete and broken... made up of parts that don't even describe themselves. Parts that may not even be related. Here, let me dribble some out spontaneously:


escape
dying inside
warm gust
throw cold up
there's a poem dying inside me
it must come out
I need to operate

moth?

fought the light
fine and even
died, breaking
beating itself senseless
breathing
come out

come out
incomplete
dies

rambling, hodge-podge bullshit ARRRGGGHHHH

it's like I have a psychedelic chestburster in me, but the damn thing is too fucking confused to just GET OUT

22020
The Flood / Re: The lack of attention is disturbing me
« on: September 15, 2014, 07:32:05 AM »

*attention intensifies*
NO

Give him NOTHING! But take from him EVERYTHING!
Dear god no....
*Runs Away*
That's better.

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