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Messages - Elegiac
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21991
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:32:10 AM »
No. I'll say it. I'm slogging knee deep through a depression right now. I get down in the fall when it rolls in, and I stay that way until winter comes. It's an outside depression, not something I can deal with well. But right now it's feeding my own depression. I was in a really low spot a few years back, but I managed to recover. But I didn't beat it. It was always there, in the background.
And these last couple of months have been hard. My insecurities, my doubts, are all just fuel for the fire now. And I know where I'm headed. Every day I get worse and worse. And I'm doing the best I can to fight it, but I can't. Last time, I had a goal, a reason to keep going. This time, I don't. It's only a matter of days before I start to get really down, and my perception of things shifts.
Today I am angry, perpetually, because I'm trying to fight it. I'm trying to stand up, and do something. And none of it is working. But I'm stubborn. So, by the end of the day, or the evening, I'll feel burnt out out, beaten. And I'll go to sleep early, in the hopes that tomorrow will be better.
And I know it won't. I'll get caught in the same trap, over and over.
Is there something about Autumn?
21992
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:27:42 AM »
Nearly all male, I listen to a wide range of genres ranging from rap, classical, rock, pop but I'm just not interested in female musicians.
Apart from nicki minaj
21993
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:25:53 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?
No, it was a no.
Ohhhhhhh... I get it  sneaky. You're good at this.
Right?
Not really.
No you.
21994
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:16:45 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?
No, it was a no.
Ohhhhhhh... I get it sneaky. You're good at this.
Right?
Not really.
21995
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:15:50 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging
Example? :3
you're supposed to imagine it... errhmm... like your cornflakes sometimes crying like a baby, but not all the time... stuff to send a body mad, or depressed, or preferably both
Hmmm.....that's a tough one. I'll get in to thinking of one then.
Don't let it distract you from your other work though.
21996
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:14:14 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?
No, it was a no.
Ohhhhhhh... I get it sneaky. You're good at this.
21997
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:12:56 AM »
Easy, tigers. You gotta let me make deals au naturel, not try to squeeze them out of me.
21998
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:10:36 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
No, go be edgy on edgyteen.net.
So... that was yes?
21999
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:09:10 AM »
Do me next.
I may. But I wouldn't know what to say, I'm not sure what your deal is.
22000
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:05:53 AM »
Can I be edgy in this thread? Is that OK? Is this where I'm allowed to be edgy?
22001
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:04:07 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?
I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?
A story. Been writing stories now for a few years. Since I don't have any other use for my writing, I turn to things I spin up in my head. Places, people, times, that stuff.
Well, I hope we both recover.
I hope you do, at least. I already know what's happening on my end. I know how and why, and there's little I can do.
You don't want to say too much?
22002
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:03:26 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging
Example? :3
you're supposed to imagine it... errhmm... like your cornflakes sometimes crying like a baby, but not all the time... stuff to send a body mad, or depressed, or preferably both
22003
« on: September 15, 2014, 10:00:40 AM »
> Lolstralia
>having a winter
>ever
Fuckinglol
I've got the gas fire on low right now. It's still a little cold yet.
22004
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:56:14 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?
I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?
A story. Been writing stories now for a few years. Since I don't have any other use for my writing, I turn to things I spin up in my head. Places, people, times, that stuff.
Well, I hope we both recover.
22005
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:55:38 AM »
I want to try! Give me a topic (small one) and ill try to write it something about it. :3
your topic: imagine something existentially damaging
22006
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:51:10 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?
I cook for my restaurant. But my time and efforts are focused primarily on writing, and, recently, learning how to draw/paint.
Cool. What are you writing?
22007
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:49:28 AM »
A good mix, probably a little bit more male in there than female, but still a goodly pack of rockin' chicks.
22008
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:42:42 AM »
You and me both compatriot. I'm in shambles. Can't get my gears turning to complete my work. I can't write or draw nothin'
I thought you were a chef?
22009
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:27:48 AM »
my shitty haikus
they are a prime example
of why i don't write
I think they're lovely.
22010
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:14:31 AM »
we call em both, it depends
don't forget wedges
22011
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:12:44 AM »
Sleep on it.
I've been sleeping on it for about two or three weeks. It ebbs, and then it rises up again, each time a little more insistent. But you're right. I'm obviously pregnant and I'll just have to wait out the term.
Who's the father?
autofellatio
22012
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:11:04 AM »
Speaking of writing, I still have an essay I have to finish, but I can't. :/
What's the issue?
I can't think of an ending. I'm supposed to type it, so I did, my compy froze killing all my work (Screw you, Google Drive) and it's due today, and it's part of a group thing. No pressure.
*has mental breakdown*
What are you going to do?
22013
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:10:05 AM »
Don't be mad lol, I'm sure you're not really a pleb or whatever, but that was a pretty coarse thing to post as a response, you sorta deserved to be called a pleb.
Get off the edge, Ele, it's not worth it.
*witty reply*
22014
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:06:08 AM »
Speaking of writing, I still have an essay I have to finish, but I can't. :/
What's the issue?
22015
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:05:39 AM »
Stop being so edgy.
What? Don't be so plebby, this is serious business.
>Being this mad
Don't be mad lol, I'm sure you're not really a pleb or whatever, but that was a pretty coarse thing to post as a response, you sorta deserved to be called a pleb.
22016
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:04:11 AM »
Sleep on it.
I've been sleeping on it for about two or three weeks. It ebbs, and then it rises up again, each time a little more insistent. But you're right. I'm obviously pregnant and I'll just have to wait out the term.
22017
« on: September 15, 2014, 09:00:15 AM »
Stop being so edgy.
What? Don't be so plebby, this is serious business.
22018
« on: September 15, 2014, 08:58:53 AM »
Here, take this damn hot weather. Just give me all your coldness
coldness en route
22019
« on: September 15, 2014, 08:57:11 AM »
I feel like there's a poem dying inside of me and it'll die unless I pull out its dismembered parts and operate, but it keeps coming out incomplete and broken... made up of parts that don't even describe themselves. Parts that may not even be related. Here, let me dribble some out spontaneously:
escape
dying inside
warm gust
throw cold up
there's a poem dying inside me
it must come out
I need to operate
moth?
fought the light
fine and even
died, breaking
beating itself senseless
breathing
come out
come out
incomplete
dies
rambling, hodge-podge bullshit ARRRGGGHHHH
it's like I have a psychedelic chestburster in me, but the damn thing is too fucking confused to just GET OUT
22020
« on: September 15, 2014, 07:32:05 AM »
*attention intensifies*
 NO
Give him NOTHING! But take from him EVERYTHING!
Dear god no....
*Runs Away*
That's better.
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