fap

This. Take of all your clothes and walk outside, furiously masturbating and exclaiming how you'd love to come across a dangerous stranger to help you get off. In all likelihood, this will scare away whatever intruder there might be.

Wait, what?

I figured this thread was a response to Psycholigist's post about him killing the spider, where I posted the following:

Let me tell you a story about spiders and toilets, friend.

Around two years ago, I visited Africa (Tanzania to be exact) to visit and help out at an orphanage my family supports, while also visiting the country and traveling around. Now, at a certain point during this trip, my brother and I got sick. A bad, bad case of food poisoning. I'm not going to say too much about that, but just to paint you the picture, imagine being rushed in a jeep to a field hospital in the middle of a national park at 3am after not being able to think straight or stand up without fainting, puking your lungs out, shitting your bowels out and feeling like you're going to die from a 41° (106 fahrenheit for you Amerifriends) fever. What happened at the doctor's aint pretty, so I'm gonna skip that real quick.

Anyways, to get to the point of the story, not even two days afterwards (two days that were spent in a little hut in the middle of nowhere away from any utilities, running water or toilets), we had no choice but to keep moving. After being stuck in the jeep for almost an entire day, we had to make a bathroom stop. I'm no huge fan of spiders, so I normally always checked around, below and above the toilet everywhere we went. Never did I see a single spider or creature.

Never, except for this one time. The one time that, due to a terrible case of diarrhea/vomiting, I just sprinted into the toilet without looking. So after going about my unpleasant business and feeling the tiniest bit relieved, I look up and take in my surroundings for the first time. On the wall next to me, not even 20 centimeters (like 8 inches) away from my face, was sitting one of the biggest spiders I've ever seen. I shit (no pun intended) you not, this thing was massive and looked like it had small children for breakfast.

What happened next can be described as me lunging away from the toilet, finishing up my business as fast as I could while not taking my eyes of this monstrosity for as much as a second and sprinting out of the place as fast as I could (which wasn't very fast, given my state of sickness).

So next time you see a little spider in your bathroom, think of what happened to me and be happy it's not a probably lethal arachnid of darkness coming to get you while you're extremely sick and hours away from civilization.

So wait... that was the actual shooting that caused this whole shitstorm?

Bloody hell.

No, these are two different events. The Brown shooting is the one that caused the shitstorm and the riots in Ferguson, partially because it wasn't caught on video and there's a ton of conflicting witness reports. The one in the video ("the Powell shooting") was a different, unrelated shooting that took place after the police was called for a man shoplifting.

He didn't have a knife. . .

...He did. You can tell he's holding it in his pocket the entire time and pulls it out as he's approaching the cops, who then repeatedly start shouting "drop the knife". Every news report I've read on the Powell shooting confirms he had a knife on him too.

Regarding the video in the OP, you should all read this.

And none of this is made any better by jumping to eager conclusions.

Too late, but I'm still gonna say Tribal.

Oh it's not so much the attacks themselves, like I can parry fine in PvE. When I'm talking about lag affecting my ability to parry I mean because like my internet is so bad people run up to me and the attack animations aren't even playing and I'm being hit, they are just staring me down to death. Or backstabbing me from the front. Or hitting me from ridiculous distances Or pretty much anything under the sun. I know these things happen to everyone at some point, but to me they are every single match. Like I cannot even bother with the PvP covenant, since it requires consecutive wins to rank up.

The point being, I get how to like time it with the animations and all that, I just mean it's not worth me trying, because on my screen it will look like they are about to swing so I'll time the LT press, but then to them they are on like their 3rd swing stunlock and then it catches up and I die. Things like that.

Ah, I didn't realize it was that bad. I assumed you were just talking about the usual latency that makes parrying more of a prediction thing than actual reflexes, but this is a lot worse.

Do you still try to PVP? I can't imagine it being any fun when the connection is just that bad.

Let me tell you a story about spiders and toilets, friend.

Around two years ago, I visited Africa (Tanzania to be exact) to visit and help out at an orphanage my family supports, while also visiting the country and traveling around. Now, at a certain point during this trip, my brother and I got sick. A bad, bad case of food poisoning. I'm not going to say too much about that, but just to paint you the picture, imagine being rushed in a jeep to a field hospital in the middle of a national park at 3am after not being able to think straight or stand up without fainting, puking your lungs out, shitting your bowels out and feeling like you're going to die from a 41° (106 fahrenheit for you Amerifriends) fever. What happened at the doctor's aint pretty, so I'm gonna skip that real quick.

Anyways, to get to the point of the story, not even two days afterwards (two days that were spent in a little hut in the middle of nowhere away from any utilities, running water or toilets), we had no choice but to keep moving. After being stuck in the jeep for almost an entire day, we had to make a bathroom stop. I'm no huge fan of spiders, so I normally always checked around, below and above the toilet everywhere we went. Never did I see a single spider or creature.

Never, except for this one time. The one time that, due to a terrible case of diarrhea/vomiting, I just sprinted into the toilet without looking. So after going about my unpleasant business and feeling the tiniest bit relieved, I look up and take in my surroundings for the first time. On the wall next to me, not even 20 centimeters (like 8 inches) away from my face, was sitting one of the biggest spiders I've ever seen. I shit (no pun intended) you not, this thing was massive and looked like it had small children for breakfast.

What happened next can be described as me lunging away from the toilet, finishing up my business as fast as I could while not taking my eyes of this monstrosity for as much as a second and sprinting out of the place as fast as I could (which wasn't very fast, given my state of sickness).

So next time you see a little spider in your bathroom, think of what happened to me and be happy it's not a probably lethal arachnid of darkness coming to get you while you're extremely sick and hours away from civilization.

So, is there really not going to be split-screen in the game?

Why?

I find myself sharing many of the ideals. A united and progressive Europe where each member state still has a voice and can retain its individuality. A union that strives for a growth in prosperity, standards of living and peace both domestic and abroad.

I realize that my views and inspirations are probably different than most, but during my law studies I have come to appreciate the ECtHR and what it has done and can do for our society. And not just this particular court, but also the legislative organs. I'm willing to bet that I have extensively studied and read more EU regulations and directives than this entire forum put together. I have worked on deliverables for upcoming projects of the European Commission, and I can assure you that, by a lack of better words, this is good stuff that will help and protect a lot of people and stimulate progress.

Now, I'm no fool. I am very much aware of the problems and criticism the EU faces, especially on an economic level. And I also realize that a lot of said criticism is valid and that the current system and some policies are far from perfect. But no system is flawless, and I do believe that many of the problems the EU faces can be overcome. The current execution is far from perfect, but I still fully believe in the EU and strongly support the union.

hey I need the shield cos my internet sucks
there is no way I can parry in pvp because what I see happening is never what is happening

It's like that for everyone, I'm afraid. Parrying in DS PVP is almost all about prediction and timing. There's only a handful of attacks you can parry on sight and only certain parry daggers actually parry fast enough to catch the attack as it's happening. Took me quite a while to get used to, but it's well worth it.

The advice that helped me a lot was just to assess your opponent's fighting style. In DS1, the easiest attacks to parry are people who spam R1 (just block a hit or two and then parry right as he's about to attack a third time), and the roll/sprint attack. If you see your opponent pull a few of those, just anticipate on him doing it again and parry as soon as he's getting out of his roll or sprint. Easy going.

I find parrying a little harder on DS2 because of the delay on almost all of the shields and parry tools, but the same principles appy. Sprint/roll attacks and spammers are very predictable and can easily be baited into a parry. Also worth mentioning is the greatsword double R2. I'm sure you've seen it countless of times, where you first stab the greatsword and immediately follow up with this horizontal 360 spin attack? Block the first stab and parry right afterwards, people almost always go for that exact same follow up.

Never been a fan of fearmongering in any way, nor do I back all of the EU's economic policies and workings, but I'm all in support of the EU.

Soul Memory is an awful mechanic, but by PVPing at level 280, you really are just a part of the problem. I don't have a single build over 130-150. Where's the fun in not limiting yourself?

Do the black and white thread again

Now that's a classic.

Roland 4 lyfe