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Messages - Sandtrap
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9121
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:42:02 PM »
9122
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:37:30 PM »
Who else will make really long posts now?
I don't know. At least you're still here to make wide ones though. Spoiler I kid. Take care of yourself amigo. Don't stir too much shit up now.
9123
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:34:23 PM »
Fuck that must have been hard to type.
I have some ailments, and am scheduled to have surgery next week, but my problems seem very lax in comparison.
You say that absolute truth, regardless of how much it hurts, frees oneself. . . Remember that freedom, in its purest form, eliminates all power from suffering and thus no absolute truth could ever be painful.
This wasn't hard. What's going to be hard is saying goodbye to the folks I know. Because I'm not leaving without the last say in things. Never would I do that.
9124
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:33:13 PM »
Shit man, didn't expect it to start up this soon. Chemo's a bitch too but at least you have a shot.
I really wish I knew what to say. 
You and me both. I kept the fact that I had a tumor in my noggin shut in for about a month. I kept this news to myself for about a week and a half. Not much can be said anymore. Words are out of power in this avenue. All I've got left is to roll on out and give things a try.
9125
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:25:34 PM »
Fucking hell, you don't get a break.
G'luck. Will you be getting your friend to give us updates again?
I'm doing this myself. It's just me now. But, for reference, I have a rule in place. I'll tell it to you folks too.
The Six Month Rule as I call it. Not much can keep me from talking to friends. It would take either death, a coma, or something debilitating to stop me. If I'm ever in a coma or debilitated for six months beyond talking, well, I'm fucked anyway.
And being dead is being dead. So, if none of my friends have heard anything from me in six months or more, I'm dead.
It's a harsh sentiment. But I believe in truth. Absolute truth, no matter how bad it hurts, unchains you and frees you.
I would never wish to leave people behind wondering where the fuck I went or what happened. And in this way, those that care for me that can't directly look at my eyes and say hello, have some measure of peace, even if it hurts.
I can understand that. I just hope you can recover quick so you can help me with my work again :3
Spoiler for people who can't take a joke, that wasn't serious. M'kay?
I'd like to. Very much so. Like I said, I'm not leaving right away. I need to get a lot of things ready. But in the meantime, I'm still here, for a little while longer.
9126
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:24:01 PM »
What will you do in-between the chemo therapy sessions?
Crank up the heaters in my motor home because it's not winter proof. Potentially take a small time job to pay for shit if I have to. Mostly, try to survive. I'm fighting two, well, three fights here. The tumor is going to start hurting me more soon. The Chemo will poison me and put a strain on me. And if I said I could crack a smile at all this, I'd be lying. My motor home is a part of a dream of mine. My home, if I have a future. I might end up kicking the bucket alone, but at the very least, I can do it in the fucking comfort of a place that is my own, always. It's my sanctuary. Peace, quiet, the ability to move, and cozy.
9127
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:18:05 PM »
Fucking hell, you don't get a break.
G'luck. Will you be getting your friend to give us updates again?
I'm doing this myself. It's just me now. But, for reference, I have a rule in place. I'll tell it to you folks too. The Six Month Rule as I call it. Not much can keep me from talking to friends. It would take either death, a coma, or something debilitating to stop me. If I'm ever in a coma or debilitated for six months beyond talking, well, I'm fucked anyway. And being dead is being dead. So, if none of my friends have heard anything from me in six months or more, I'm dead. It's a harsh sentiment. But I believe in truth. Absolute truth, no matter how bad it hurts, unchains you and frees you. I would never wish to leave people behind wondering where the fuck I went or what happened. And in this way, those that care for me that can't directly look at my eyes and say hello, have some measure of peace, even if it hurts.
9128
« on: December 03, 2014, 03:10:07 PM »
Good luck, man, and do try to come back alive. This forum needs some Buddhist spirituality sometimes...
I don't think I've got much left to give. Gave most of my sunshine over to Nuka and other folks. Scraping the bottom of the barrel here really. But, I'll try. One last time.
9129
« on: December 03, 2014, 02:59:47 PM »
Yep. I'm serious. Now, I'm going to try and condense this. I don't want no fucking bullshit right? Here's the deal.
Late October, I did some work with the doc's. They found a dormant tumor in my head.(Thanks for those genetics dad) The tumor's probably been there for a long time. It puts pressure on my head. Gives me powerful headaches. Strong enough that drugs do not dull them, and I'm incapacitated.
Point is, the tumor's not dormant anymore. The doc's have been tracking it. And since last month, it's changed. It's aggressive. They gave me an estimate on my lifespan until the tumor grows too big and ruptures important stuff in my head and I hemmorage. Roughly 90 days.
This is why I'm resigning.
I'm going in for Chemotherapy.
But here's the issue. If I stay here, I die. But, the docs are worried about me. My body can't handle the strain. My lungs are healed, but they're still weak. My infection a little while back put a tremendous strain on my heart. And most of all, the tumor is too deep in my head to cut out.
It's aggressive, which means the Chemo has a better chance. But like the doc said, tumors in the brain are hard to treat because of the blood-brain-barrier. A natural defensive system for chemicals in the brain. Only a few chemicals of what they'll be putting into me will actually reach the tumor.
And here's the catch. I have to move. My clinic doesn't have on demand access to the heavy drugs and care that I might need.
So, in the next few days, I'm going to take my motor home, repair it, get it started, and I'm going to leave. I'm going to pack tonight, take all the money I have, say my goodbyes, and go.
Things are going to be bumpy. Chances are, I'm not going to be on. If I stop by cafes and stuff in the city, if I have the strength, I'll stop in and say howdy. So my job as monitor will be a useless spot.
So, that's it guys.
I don't want to do this. I'm tired of fighting. And I'm not even sure the Chemo will work. It might just kill me faster. It might not even stop the tumor. And really, I don't know why I try when I can't seem to be able to just sit the fuck down and enjoy my peace, with no strings attached.
But, I'm going to try anyway. One last shot.
I don't know how long I'll be gone for. But I still live by my words folks. If I'm alive by christmas, I'll send all of you a christmas card.
And that's it. If you've got questions, ask them here because I'll be gone in a day or two.
You folks know my stance on things. You're a good bunch. My friends, same to you. To the staff, it was nice playing the part of a yelling politician for a while.
Thanks folks. Take care while I'm gone.
Edits:
I've been talking with the docs folks. The town doc is talking to the city doc I'll be visiting, and they're sharing all the information on me. So here's the news. I've got a life estimate of about 90 days or so if I just sit on my butt and let things happen. The tumor's agressive. There's no time to wait around.
So they're going to hit me hard. Hard chemicals. Twice every week, for a month. A hard burn to try and stop and kill the tumor as quickly as possible. They don't think I can handle long term effects without falling apart. So basically, this would be like an episode of binge drinking. Drink hard until you drop, but you only do it once.
Essentially, this is a one shot deal. If the drugs don't work they don't have a lot of time to switch them up and try again.
9130
« on: December 03, 2014, 02:38:03 PM »
 I always wanted a tank. It would be perfect up here.
9131
« on: December 03, 2014, 02:32:52 PM »
In layman's terms, maybe there's an afterlife. Maybe there's not. We don't know and likely never will since nobody's ever come back and said "Hey fella's, the apple pie's the best in the afterlife!"
And therefore, whether or not I believe there's something after, what's important is what's in front of me here and now. Personally, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed silly to me. Majorly religious folks shunning what they have here in front of them in favor for the supposed promise of something after.
I don't believe in a paradise after death. No such thing as perfection. Only the best you can make it with what you have. I believe, it's an expansion. Like a level. A different state of awareness. But I can't prove it. So, I try the best I can with what's in front of me. And I'll wait for my answer, when it comes.
9132
« on: December 03, 2014, 11:53:22 AM »
What those tards say does not matter. TCW, Rebels, and new movies are not canon, that are part of a non-canon alternate timeline. The EU is canon, deal with it.
Which part, the time Palpatine comes back three times?
There is a lot of shit in the EU to go over and sift through what is canon and what is not, I am not going to waste my time going over it. Disney cannot just erase the EU though.
Yes they can, and here's how they did it:
Step 1. Acquire rights to Star Wars
Step 2. Evaluate creative options
Step 3. 
Step 4. Declare EU non-canon
9133
« on: December 03, 2014, 11:19:06 AM »
9134
« on: December 03, 2014, 09:27:51 AM »
I'd just like to say, you people continually surprise me. In a good way. There's always something new, something special to see from someone. Don't call your work such silly lablels. You do what you enjoy doing and you do it to the fullest extent. And take pride in what you're doing.
Take pride in the fact that you can do something most other folks would never think of trying or even have the noggin to consistantly work and keep at it. You're making a language for fun. How cool is that?
All I can say from what I've seen, is keep going. And don't put yourself down about it. Your work is all your own, and you owe yourself something that makes you happy, even if it's small.
9135
« on: December 02, 2014, 09:20:12 PM »
 There was the whole Marty day thing when he got canned. And then Marty did some lawsuits. Oh boy that was a party.
9136
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:56:09 PM »
Obviously I am going to watch it, even if it is retarded. Disney just sucks.
You watching it wouldn't be canon.
Well it is already not canon. I am fine with watching stuff from Disney's alternate timeline though, I watched TCW. I prefer the actual canon stories, but alternate timelines can sometimes be fun.
It is canon.
9137
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:48:37 PM »
I wrote this up in five minutes in a thread by Desticle when he gave me the subject, you can make the story about anything in the world. So I did. Spoiler And god said, "Let there be light!" Jim shook his head. "The fuck is this shit god? Giving light to all those ugly people down there? Disgusting." The great bearded deity shrugged. "Give them time, a few hundred thousand years maybe and they'll start to look a little less ugly. Maybe even good enough to look good on the beach." Jim looked down below. "Oh for fuck's sake. The first idiot just learned about fire. He went up and burnt himself to a crisp." God eyed up the simple little mongoloid far down below, burnt and black, dead as could be. He nodded with a smile. "Hey! We just got our first customer to the gates of heaven! Quick, call up Peter!" Jim watched as the great bearded deity tugged his long white beard in excitement. "God, you're like a kid in a candy shop. It's embarassing." God did not care and proceeded to call up Peter, ignoring Jim. Jim proceeded to watch down below, as the tiny mongoloids continued to evolve. He put his glasses on, as he looked a little closer. Interesting. They where starting to do things. Build things. Jim looked back as God continued to babble to Peter on the phone, absent minded. Jim smiled. "Okay you little fucks, let's see what you do with a little rain along with your tropical sunshine." Jim reared back, and let out the biggest loogie he could manage. Watching with satifsfaction as the land flooded and all the little mongoloids and their ugly buildings washed away. He leaned back on his chair with a smile, as God returned. With a frown across his features, he looked over to Jim. "Did you do that?" "What?" "Peter says he's getting a lot more entries to heaven." Jim smiled, watching the floods down below. "Must be global warming." God shook his head. "Oh well this is no good! Fuck it, I'm going down there." Jim's eyebrows shot up. "That's cheating." "I'm God! I can do what I want." "Okay, your show big man." —————————————————————-- 15 minutes later God appeared next to Jim, soaking wet as he removed a great yellow raincoat. He smiled as he wrung out his great beard. "There. I told one of them to build a boat." Jim eyed up the happenings down below. "Well, it looks like a lot more than that. They're writing a book about you! You're famous!" God's brows furrowed. "No, no! They're too young for reading! They don't know what'll happen if they write something bad!" Jim chuckled. "Oh shit, look at them go! A couple more of them wrote books about you!" God watched as all the little mongoloids started fighting. "God dammit! No! I had the perfect setup!" Jim merely chuckled. "Oh boy, they're making a right mess of things now! But look at that! You're actually right. Some of them look pretty good on the beaches in bikinis." God shook his head. "Nope. I've got it. I've got it. I can fix it. I'm going down there again." Jim watched with amusement as the little mongoloids continued to evolve. God returned again, this time with a smile. Jim looked up to him. "So, what's your master plan?" God smiled, a light so bright that Texas became dry. "Well Jim, you're a good friend right? How about you uh, I dunno, go down there?" "What? Me? And do what?" "Propaganda." "What do you mean propaganda?" "Well, you know, dress up like one of them. Spread the word that I'm not real. I hate being in the tabloids. And every person I talk to just keeps on making things worse." Jim sighed. "Okay fine. What do you want to call this anti-god movement?" "How about Atheism?" Jim nodded. "That's good. Okay. Here I go. My best impersonation of one of them." Jim turned into a fat overweight mongoloid with a fedora and a stomach barely contained by his shirt. He smiled, great greasy rolls of flesh upturning in a horrendous spectacle. "How's this?" God shook his head. "Hmm. Not feeling it. You'd get better reception if you were one of those nice ones on the beach." Jim snapped his flabby fingers. "I got it." Jim pulled a katana out of the air. "Now we're talking style." God's brows furrowed. "Okay fine. It is kind of cool." Jim tipped his fedora. "I've even got a catchphrase! M'Lady." God smiled, stroking his beard. "Okay Jim. I think we're set. You ready to go down there?" "With a katana, I can't fail. You just watch. I'll have your name cleared from the books in no time!" Jim tipped his fedora, giving one last smile before heading down to the trenches.
9138
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:47:11 PM »
Give me a sec
9139
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:42:18 PM »
This a gag right? A hoax? An practical joke?
I refuse to believe what I am seeing.
I admit, I refused the idea at first. I mean I live under a rock but after some discussion... RC ain't so bad. He'll do good.
9140
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:34:24 PM »
This a joke right?
Nope. We discussed it today when we were bringing up the issue of replacing one of our mods.
9141
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:25:45 PM »
What dun happened?
Noelle happened.
Star Wars canon isn't politics, though.
9142
« on: December 02, 2014, 07:22:53 PM »
You actually consider being unemployed for a year, living with your parents at 22, spending all your time online, and some part time job at a warehouse a good place? Wow. I'm just thankful my life will never get to that point.
Yep, I do. This is pretty pathetic, you thinking you know anything about my life. You apparently cannot read. What is wrong with taking a break for ten months after leaving the military to figure out what you want to do? My parents did not care. I took that time to sort some things out, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life and also looked into personal issues I have by seeing a therapist for quite a while. Things are not perfect, but they do not have to be. I have an amazing boyfriend, and I am alive.
It doesn't take a lot to know when someone is living a pretty pathetic life. Rationalize it all you want, but your situation is much worse than the average person your age. I like how you're getting defensive and attempting to make it seem like lowering your life standards somehow makes up for your situation. I don't care though, do what you want. I'm simply glad my life will never get to such a point.
You want to throw stones around? Okay, let's throw stones.
Let's take a look at you, and let's see what we can all see up front and center. For starters you're on this site. What does this tell me?
You had, or still have roots in Bungie. You were a Halo, or Destiny fan. Most likely a Halo fan since anybody who's a fan of Destiny is on Bungie.net. That means, to some extent, you're a gamer.
And a lot of days, all I see from gamers is entilted bullshit. Especially from the younger ones. So I'd put a few bucks down that you aren't very old.
Second, you're on a website, built by somebody from the community, to harbor a community that was kicked off of Bungie.net. So what does that mean for you?
Exactly what I figured. You're an entitled little shit. You come on here, on a website, graciously provided for by it's designer for free. And you've got the fucking balls to go around insulting poeple that are a part of this community? Smells to me like you don't even fucking know what you have to lose sitting under your feet. And if I'm wrong, then you're just here to troll and flame and cause stupid bullshit, which paints you in an even better light!
Shut your fucking trap, sit the fuck down, and take a look in the mirror you entitled sack of shit. Because when I look at you, if you're so god damn desperate to either piss people off here for the sake of it, or come here thinking you're going to wander around and stir up stupid bullshit, then obviously your fucking life is no cakewalk either.
And you're in a sadder state than most and you're in denial. So fuck off why don't you please. The last thing this place needs, is more bullshit. And if you had some ounce of a fucking brain in there, you'd realize that.
Obviously, judging by all the shit you said beforehand, you don't have that.
I can't take this seriously at all. All you did was try to slap some insults together with no information about me. Pretty pathetic, really.
And you're one to talk. You being here, acting in the way that you do, shows clear as fucking day who you are. You're inconsiderate, you're entightled, and you go around stirring up bullshit. If you had any deceny or common sense, you wouldn't be acting like you are now. And honestly, who the fuck cares? Who cares so much what somebody else does with their life? It's not yours, and you sure as fuck can't change it because you can't even look at yourself in the mirror first and realize how much of a sad fuck up you are. At the very least, have a little fucking respect and integrity not to start bullshit with folks you aren't fond of. Or if you want, why don't you post some shit about your hunky dory source of money in this thread since you haven't yet. Let's see how much of a fan fucking tastic life you lead. Or we can chalk up insecure onto the list too.
9143
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:43:51 PM »
You actually consider being unemployed for a year, living with your parents at 22, spending all your time online, and some part time job at a warehouse a good place? Wow. I'm just thankful my life will never get to that point.
Yep, I do. This is pretty pathetic, you thinking you know anything about my life. You apparently cannot read. What is wrong with taking a break for ten months after leaving the military to figure out what you want to do? My parents did not care. I took that time to sort some things out, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life and also looked into personal issues I have by seeing a therapist for quite a while. Things are not perfect, but they do not have to be. I have an amazing boyfriend, and I am alive.
It doesn't take a lot to know when someone is living a pretty pathetic life. Rationalize it all you want, but your situation is much worse than the average person your age. I like how you're getting defensive and attempting to make it seem like lowering your life standards somehow makes up for your situation. I don't care though, do what you want. I'm simply glad my life will never get to such a point.
You want to throw stones around? Okay, let's throw stones. Let's take a look at you, and let's see what we can all see up front and center. For starters you're on this site. What does this tell me? You had, or still have roots in Bungie. You were a Halo, or Destiny fan. Most likely a Halo fan since anybody who's a fan of Destiny is on Bungie.net. That means, to some extent, you're a gamer. And a lot of days, all I see from gamers is entilted bullshit. Especially from the younger ones. So I'd put a few bucks down that you aren't very old. Second, you're on a website, built by somebody from the community, to harbor a community that was kicked off of Bungie.net. So what does that mean for you? Exactly what I figured. You're an entitled little shit. You come on here, on a website, graciously provided for by it's designer for free. And you've got the fucking balls to go around insulting poeple that are a part of this community? Smells to me like you don't even fucking know what you have to lose sitting under your feet. And if I'm wrong, then you're just here to troll and flame and cause stupid bullshit, which paints you in an even better light! Shut your fucking trap, sit the fuck down, and take a look in the mirror you entitled sack of shit. Because when I look at you, if you're so god damn desperate to either piss people off here for the sake of it, or come here thinking you're going to wander around and stir up stupid bullshit, then obviously your fucking life is no cakewalk either. And you're in a sadder state than most and you're in denial. So fuck off why don't you please. The last thing this place needs, is more bullshit. And if you had some ounce of a fucking brain in there, you'd realize that. Obviously, judging by all the shit you said beforehand, you don't have that.
9144
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:19:08 PM »
I live with my parents and am twenty-two years old. I have been unemployed this whole year, but got out of the Air Force last December and had lots of money saved up, and was also getting $2,000 a month on unemployment for six months. I now have a part-time job in the warehouse of a retail place and will be attending school next year.
Dang. That's pretty sad, no offense. If I was in that situation posting on forums is the last thing I'd be worried about.
Wait, what? What situation are you referring to? I am in a pretty damn good place at the moment.
You actually consider being unemployed for a year, living with your parents at 22, spending all your time online, and some part time job at a warehouse a good place? Wow. I'm just thankful my life will never get to that point.
Well, you know, things could always be worse. Parents toss their kids out all the time. Rule of thumb here is, something, is better than nothing.
9145
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:18:07 PM »
I live with my parents and am twenty-two years old. I have been unemployed this whole year, but got out of the Air Force last December and had lots of money saved up, and was also getting $2,000 a month on unemployment for six months. I now have a part-time job in the warehouse of a retail place and will be attending school next year.
Dang. That's pretty sad, no offense. If I was in that situation posting on forums is the last thing I'd be worried about.
I know, it is pretty sad when you've wasted so much money on reconstructive surgery to get your dick removed because you think you're a woman.
Am I just stoned or are you normally this pissy? Jesus fuck I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed today.
9146
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:11:18 PM »
Too honest to be a politician
Oh god no. I got sucked into the ring today and was screaming like the best of them.
9147
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:06:23 PM »
If it makes you happy, I find myself humming tunes to songs I've long since forgotten in name and memory sometimes.
9148
« on: December 02, 2014, 06:02:05 PM »
Grats on the joint operation Brute.
9149
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:54:37 PM »
9150
« on: December 02, 2014, 05:04:37 PM »
22. Work in a family owned restaurant/cafe. I take contract work from folks in the area during the spring and summer for an extra boost.
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