Imagine your reaction if someone just ran up and started to tickle you.

Do NOT raid #offtopic, or any forum.

#offtopic should be spammed with this.

They wouldn't know how to react.

Your buddy crashes at your house. He walks into your room, smiling and a little flushed. He tells you that he heard your neighbors banging loudly, and he had to fap in your bathroom. You think that this is odd, since their us no one home next door. You go get a drink, and you see your mom and dad, hair messed up and grinning like idiots. They were the ones banging.

You walk back in, and your friend can't stop talking about what a filthy mouth the woman had, and how she begged for anal.

What do you do?

It's almost 9 am in France.

Did you go to the place I suggested?

This is a fictional gun that causes whomever you shoot with it to have massive, uncontrollable orgasms. If you shoot them enough, they will likely have a heart attack from the pleasure.

So, you get a package from your uncle Charlie, and there, in a shoe box, wrapped in newspaper is the Orgasmatron.

Now what will you do?

uhhhhhhh........

Yes?

No one is happy for my awesome new job?

feelsbadman.jpg

lol, how big was the banana?

REALLY big. Like a foot long. It was easy though, they covered it in in really dark chocolate. They wanted me to "suck the brown off" it before I ate it. I like chocolate, so it was easy.

LC... You need to go here: http://www.yelp.com/biz/le-sergent-recruteur-paris

Yeah, they do charge for the public toilets, and the metro does smell like piss. But there are other benefits to Paris. The restaraunt I have in the link is one of the coolest experiences ever. Its like the French equivalent to the all you can eat buffet. A little pricey, but you will feel you get your money's worth.

Also, go to the Latin Quarter at night. This is where the clubs are. Women are easy, the drinks are good and cheap. It is a shitload of fun. Bring condoms. Three or more... you will need them.

The museums are for chumps. Go to the Luvre and you will spend most of the day in line. You are better off walking the Seine and people watching. With the exception of the place I linked, don't eat big meals. Kinda graze here and there, eat 5 or 6 tiny meals instead of 3 big ones.

Now, make a point to head to the Jewish Quarter. Its an experience all its own. Many Israelis have set up shops there, and you can get stuff there that is usually reserved for Tel Aviv. Try the felafel balls.

Do your best to take on a who gives a shit attitude and Paris can be awesome. If you spend it complaining about the dog shit on the sidewalk (there is a lot, look where you walk) and the pee smell (people don't like to pay for the public toilets) then you will have a miserable time. But, overlook that and have one of the greatest trips you've had.

Professional Shit Poster

I think so... But maybe not? I am so confused.

....how much would you charge?


Keep in mind competition, how much you need the money to eat, and what happens to you when your pimp (me) finds put that you have no money.