The story of Halo 5 begins imediately after Spartan Ops.
After the failed assasination of Dr Halsey, Palmer tells Admiral Serin Osman that it was Laskey who shot Cathrine. This causes Serin to imediately fall in love with Laskey and she begins desprately trying to  molest him,
However, Laskey rejects her and informs her that Chief is his only Waifu.

This makes Serin angry and to makes matters worse she finds out Chief has gone AFK to look for none other than Halsey so she can make him a new wank toy. It is at this time the forerunners begin attacking for some reason  In some recoverewd forerunner tech ONI-chan finds footage of Chief asking Forerunner Big Bird for directions. Serin uses this to her advantage, starting a smear campaign against John, this causes a particular nigger to blame cheif for his local KFC being blown up and so Serin gives him some Gamestop exclusive armore to go hunt the chief with.

This hunt takes Loke to a particular colony where he decides to stop for KFC. coincidentaly Chief is also hanging out at said KFC when the forerunners come and blow the place to kingdom come. Locke is now super pissed and challenges chief to 1v1 quickscopes on LockeOut. Locke gets BTFO.

Chief of course tells him to git gud and leaves him to die.

The next part consists of chief brooding and talking to robots and  shit.

Meanwhile Locke realises Halo R a pretty cool guy and lies to Osman that he killed Chief. Laskey then sends Locke, Buck and Thorne (The only spartan 4s that don't completely suck) to find Arby so they can tell Chief sorry because they still need help with the whole forerunner problem. Arby however is still dealing with the retarded conservatives on his planet so he asks Locke to help him kill them all before they go.

they find Chief and In the end they all go to collect War Assets for Halo 6's rainbow skittles ending

No mention of The Precursors, Forerunners, or the Flood. Only enemies the entire game are Storm Covies and the same old Prometheans again. Game ends with Locke and Chief staring each other down. 8 mission campaign.

What burns me is that this in all likelihood could be the cace

Master Chief is the bad guy and kills the arbiter, and sides with Locke.

Also, The Flood is permanently destroyed in the end.

Locke is actually Cortana in disguise

Locke gets killed by The Didact.

Master Chief is revealed to be BritishLemon in disguise.

GOTY for all years

We play as neither Chief, Locke or Thel and instead play as fireteam Majestic and the whole campaign is just being douchebags

Fedorekd and CheesyPotato will be writing the lines for the IWHBYD-skull.

In the beginning of the game as we are shown a planet from space, this plays

loki- Locke is chief and ch33f is Lokee

Okay children, mama Azure is going to teach you the hunttheTRUTH behind this 'Locke'




Well you see, he's actually Luke Cage, thats why he's so supa man man

You think I'm lying?

Here is sparten loke

and here is Luk kage


you see? he cant be beaten and sparten loke is like unstopablz


AND Luke cage is wiv the Defenders with Daredevil and AKA Jessica SO


The red Spartan is obviously Daredevil and the other is AKA Jessica, and Luke Cage Locke.

and Keith davidz.


There, boom. Solved it all. Now, kiss my hand and call me ma'am.

 Someone somewhere actually made the conscious decision to make Halo 5.

Master Chief dies. For the rest of the game you play as Tim Allen riding a zebra.