Daily reminder that escort missions are literally the worst thing of all time

Deleted · March 22, 2016, 10:59:59 AM

It's so fucking long since ive had to play one of these.
Holy fuck.
Third Paralouge mission in Fire Emblem Awakening and these fucking civies are literally running face first into swarms of enemies and getting themselves killed and avoid every attempt I make to try to protect them. You'd think devs would understand by now that nobody in the history of earth has ever enjoyed escort missions, and nobody ever will.

True Turquoise · March 22, 2016, 11:11:18 AM

Any game.

Every game.

Every time.

Verbatim · March 22, 2016, 11:13:40 AM

I recall Half-Life 2. Alyx liked to put herself in some dumb situations.

Also, the civilians blatantly running directly into the snipers' line of fire. Just why.

Mr. Psychologist · March 22, 2016, 11:19:09 AM

My favourite, along with escort missions, are 'follow me to this objective' and then we have the snails pace march for 1000m. And if you run ahead of them? They stop. And wait. And you have to go back and trudge with them.

;-;

Onion · March 22, 2016, 11:29:00 AM

Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on March 22, 2016, 11:19:09 AM

My favourite, along with escort missions, are 'follow me to this objective' and then we have the snails pace march for 1000m. And if you run ahead of them? They stop. And wait. And you have to go back and trudge with them.

;-;

I hate it when the NPC has a slightly faster walking pace than the player, so you have to keep doing this awkward jog to catch up.

Desty · March 22, 2016, 11:33:20 AM

Yeah, games should keep NPCs to the minimum, like Destiny did. See, Destiny was fun because of the missions that consisted only of action.

Spartan · March 22, 2016, 11:59:31 AM

In Xenoblade any character you were escorting couldn't be damaged (didn't even appear during gameplay), so that was pretty great.

Ásgeirr · March 22, 2016, 12:13:19 PM

LEEEOOOOON

HEEEEEEEEEEELP

Desty · March 22, 2016, 12:17:42 PM

LEEEEROOOOOOOY

JEEEEEENKINSSSS

Ásgeirr · March 22, 2016, 12:19:53 PM

Sandtrap · March 22, 2016, 12:30:15 PM

Warframe escort/protect missions on high difficulties are literally satan. At least in some of them your escort can move as fast as you and they're more nimble than most enemies, but they're made of fucking paper.

You know what's worse than escort missions?

Games that have co-op missions designed for multiple players, but because you have no friends, you have to solo the mission when it's built and functions around having other players helping you out.

Elai · March 22, 2016, 01:09:22 PM

The best escort mission is the one from Ocarina of Time where you have to carry Ruto through the dungeon. Though, she's less of an escort and more of a tool you use to get past shit.

big sponge · March 22, 2016, 01:30:10 PM

You don't have to save the civilians in that. You just get extra items if you do.

Deleted · March 22, 2016, 02:32:53 PM

Quote from: LC on March 22, 2016, 01:30:10 PM

You don't have to save the civilians in that. You just get extra items if you do.

I want that log for Donnel or whaterver that farmer boy's name is fam

Coco · March 22, 2016, 02:44:04 PM

Yeah, like that one escort mission in Resident Evil 4.

Puro · March 22, 2016, 04:39:14 PM

I hate games with escort missions in which the escort can't keep up with you if you move fast.

RadicalClass32 · March 22, 2016, 04:45:09 PM

As much as you hate it, it is basically inevitable, especially in FPS games.

So yeah.....

Deleted · March 22, 2016, 05:01:19 PM

This level is 100% bullshit. They are literally killing themselves. I cant even get Lisa close enough to heal them because they just run away straight into the kill-zones

Zonda · March 22, 2016, 07:10:02 PM

There was this one escort mission in Twilight Princess that somehow managed to be hard without making the NPC's absolute autism. It just overloaded you with enemies to kill before a certain point, or you would be rerouted around the area to do it all again. It's a pity the encounters were scripted, but it was good nonetheless.

Jono · March 22, 2016, 07:18:50 PM

All you had to do was follow the train, CJ!

Doctor Doom · March 22, 2016, 08:26:30 PM

Ashley was much smarter than most escortees. You could order her to stay back while you kill all the Plagas. In some places you could order her into a dumpster and come back when the coast is clear.

The scientists in STALKER are also not at all a pain in the ass to guard.

ZOE2 has a mission where you can pick up the mech you're suppose to be escorting and swing it around like a bat.

Liberty Prime hardly needs protection at the end of Fallout 3.

Prototype has bearable escort missions since you're usually escorting tanks and whatnot.

Comet · March 22, 2016, 08:30:07 PM

Quote from: Zonda on March 22, 2016, 07:10:02 PM

There was this one escort mission in Twilight Princess that somehow managed to be hard without making the NPC's absolute autism. It just overloaded you with enemies to kill before a certain point, or you would be rerouted around the area to do it all again. It's a pity the encounters were scripted, but it was good nonetheless.

that's the wagon one right?

Zonda · March 22, 2016, 09:10:17 PM

Quote from: Comet on March 22, 2016, 08:30:07 PM

that's the wagon one right?

ye.

big sponge · March 22, 2016, 09:57:00 PM

Quote from: ChaosMetalDragon on March 22, 2016, 05:01:19 PM

This level is 100% bullshit. They are literally killing themselves. I cant even get Lisa close enough to heal them because they just run away straight into the kill-zones

Dude, the extra items aren't even that good and you'll get more of them later.

Onyx Sentinel · March 24, 2016, 10:09:13 PM

Mercenaries Playground of Destruction had decent Escort missions, you could just get them into your helicopter, if its a specific vehicle, the tow it with your helicopter. Easy.

Super Irish · March 24, 2016, 11:01:49 PM

Metro had a bad one.

Protect this colonel dude from radioactive exploding slime blobs. If you shot them, the exploded, you do nothing, they exploded, you try to kill them all or run past them, they explode in you while the colonel slowly walks around in a pisspoor sttempt to go fast.

Nick McIntyre · March 25, 2016, 02:28:52 AM

YouTube

TO THE LEFT CONNOR

NO CONNOR THIS WAY

I BELIEVE WE ARE ON COURSE

velox · March 25, 2016, 03:36:59 AM

Quote from: Caped Baldy on March 22, 2016, 08:26:30 PM

Ashley was much smarter than most escortees. You could order her to stay back while you kill all the Plagas. In some places you could order her into a dumpster and come back when the coast is clear.

YouTube

DAS B00T x2 · March 25, 2016, 06:25:53 AM

Quote from: PsygnI on March 24, 2016, 11:01:49 PM

Metro had a bad one.

Protect this colonel dude from radioactive exploding slime blobs. If you shot them, the exploded, you do nothing, they exploded, you try to kill them all or run past them, they explode in you while the colonel slowly walks around in a pisspoor sttempt to go fast.

oh yeah
I thought you were gonna say that part where that fucking kid is piggybacking on you and your aiming is all fucked up and those little mutants keep coming out of the ground at you.

challengerX · March 25, 2016, 08:17:25 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.