Dick moves you'll pull off as a developer?

Jono · November 25, 2014, 01:15:22 AM

If you were a game developer, what type of dick moves would you pull off for your game?

I would:

- Make a Season Pass worth $50 and only have 1 DLC in the game's lifetime that barely adds anything to the game.
- Have the multiplayer sold separately via DLC
- The game's first level is a 30 minute cutscene that introduces you to the main character, lore, and story line. Then at the end of that cutscene, kill the main character.

BaconShelf · November 25, 2014, 01:17:37 AM

I like 30 minute cutscenes if they add/ tell a lot about the background. Not like fucking persona 4 that took nearly 2 hours to get into the gameplay

Jono · November 25, 2014, 01:37:35 AM

Quote from: BaconShelf on November 25, 2014, 01:17:37 AM

I like 30 minute cutscenes if they add/ tell a lot about the background.

Mass Effect 2 kinda did that in the beginning. They even killed Shepard haha but he came back so its all good.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 25, 2014, 01:40:02 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 25, 2014, 01:41:28 AM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

big dog · November 25, 2014, 01:45:09 AM

-Have literally no story in my game
-Hype it up as the best game ever but then there are tensions within the studio so it isn't really that good
-Fire my amazing composer
-Remove half the game to sell it later on as DLC
-Push the half-game out, still in denial
-Summoned to meeting with Activision over shitty population and below-90 metascore
-Go to meeting room
-Open the door
-Get on the floor
-Everybody walks the dinosaur

Jono · November 25, 2014, 02:21:12 AM

Quote from: Fedorekd on November 25, 2014, 01:45:09 AM

-Have literally no story in my game
-Hype it up as the best game ever but then there are tensions within the studio so it isn't really that good
-Fire my amazing composer
-Remove half the game to sell it later on as DLC
-Push the half-game out, still in denial
-Summoned to meeting with Activision over shitty population and below-90 metascore
-Go to meeting room
-Open the door
-Get on the floor
-Everybody walks the dinosaur

Bungie employee confirmed

Mattie G Indahouse · November 25, 2014, 05:18:44 AM

Quote from: Jono on November 25, 2014, 01:15:22 AM

- Make a Season Pass worth $50 and only have 1 DLC in the game's lifetime that barely adds anything to the game.

Like Last of Us. This story based game gets a single story based DLC which wasn't that long and it didn't add much to the game and it's the first and last story based DLC for the game. The rest of the DLC is for the M which isn't even the focus and meat of the game.

Anonymous (User Deleted) · November 25, 2014, 06:26:43 AM

"We are very concerned with creating a quality title, which is why we have delayed [the game]™ until 2015. Please understand."

UnwornUniform · November 25, 2014, 07:15:15 AM

I would imprint my jizz in every single disc.

Tyger · November 25, 2014, 07:45:51 AM

Give it a shitty mobile app that you need to access all features of the game

Only release the app on windows phones

Oh · November 25, 2014, 09:34:34 AM

Interact with the community, but only ever talk about how good the game is, and about how the community loves it.
Then patch the game with the complete opposite of what everyone wants.

Ásgeirr · November 25, 2014, 09:50:12 AM

I would literally be the best developer.

Tyger · November 25, 2014, 10:03:17 AM

Quote from: Ossku on November 25, 2014, 09:50:12 AM

I would literally be the best developer.

I doubt it

Azumarill · November 25, 2014, 11:47:43 AM

if the player forgets to save before quitting, have an animal crossing mr resetti-style character yell at them for about 10 minutes about the virtues of saving the game

Elai · November 25, 2014, 04:04:27 PM

Release a super long game with 10 different endings. Each disc only has one ending on it.

People would start flipping shit, realising there were different endings to the game.

When asked about it, I would "come clean" and say that there are 11 different endings. Then, watch the glorious confusion as people search to find the missing 11th ending.

R o c k e t · November 25, 2014, 04:05:35 PM

After slowly building the community's trust through years of making amazing games:

> overhype latest game

> fire Joe Staten

> false advertise game

Make $$$

Luis · November 25, 2014, 04:06:45 PM

– Very long cutscenes, that can't be skipped
– Mandatory tutorials that can't be skipped
– make a $50 season pass that only gives one extra story mission and more tutorials
– every time you do poorly in an online match, you get a twenty minute lecture
– every time you do well on a match, you get a twenty minute lecture
– all weapons in the game do a random amount of damage, one of your bullets could instantly kill someone, while your next can do no damage at all

nͫiͤcͫeͤ · November 25, 2014, 04:07:48 PM

put always online drm into my game

Luis · November 25, 2014, 04:07:59 PM

Quote from: Based Snake on November 25, 2014, 04:04:27 PM

Release a super long game with 10 different endings. Each disc only has one ending on it.

People would start flipping shit, realising there were different endings to the game.

When asked about it, I would "come clean" and say that there are 11 different endings. Then, watch the glorious confusion as people search to find the missing 11th ending.

Genius

Juuzou · November 25, 2014, 04:17:57 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · November 25, 2014, 04:34:01 PM

This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon^® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.

Girl of Mystery · November 25, 2014, 10:13:18 PM

Quote from: BaconShelf on November 25, 2014, 01:17:37 AM

I like 30 minute cutscenes if they add/ tell a lot about the background. Not like fucking persona 4 that took nearly 2 hours to get into the gameplay

You'd love MGS4 then.

Mega Sceptile · November 25, 2014, 10:24:20 PM

5 hours of story in 2 cutscenes, unskippable, split up by a 4 minute gameplay session... only to have the protagonist die in that last cutscene and a whole new game with a brand new style of gameplay and completely unrelated story begins after.

R o c k e t · November 25, 2014, 10:47:31 PM

ITT:

Magos Domina · November 26, 2014, 12:01:21 AM

Make a shitty point and click then sleep with 5 guys to help sell it.

Mattie G Indahouse · November 26, 2014, 05:06:21 AM

Star Ocean The Last Hope. We have a shitty ass save system and to make that even better there are times you have to play over an hour to get to the next save spot.