Poll

Teutons win, no point in voting now

glorious vikings
7 (46.7%)
stupid christfags
8 (53.3%)

Total Members Voted: 15

Apparently Christ can't protect crashes: TW: Attila *End*

 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 


The Teuton theme
YouTube

Explanation

I'm bored and I want to try something here. I like these kinda games for more than a few reasons. Empire building always gets me going, along with managing political relations in them. I dig games like Civilization, and Total War as well, which makes the battles. Anyway, my goal (or experiment if anyone gives enough fucks) is for us to collectively choose a faction and you guys help me make some decisions here.

The goal's for each nation will differ. I don't want every single one to be some huge empire spanning across the world, that would be unrealistic and borish to me. Kinda getting in a RP mood for it. So I narrowed down some factions to choose from, and I want your guys's help picking one together, so we can do well.

A rule of note: I have a faction mod on (it's really cool) and it basically takes place in the late 500's would be my guess. Rome has long since fallen, and the Byzantines do not hold the land they used to (probably not historically accurate, whatever).

Tuetons


The Germans are angry and they are ready to teach the world of Christ and his glory, even if it must be in blood. The goal of this faction would be to purge those who are non believers, and teach the ways of christ.

Goal: This one I'm not so sure. Possibly make my way towards Britannia (while pillaging and killing of course), and establish a great Christian nation in Saber land

Here's seeing how this goes.

Edit: Naturally as I play/update you, I will present you shit that happened as well as what options to do. Then we can decide together, so we either succeed or die together. You DON'T need to be an expert or know shit about this game to participate. I'll present things in a simple enough manner.

————-

*UPDATE*

Teutons win

Now that we have a faction, I will start the game (probably tomorrow) and present some options we can decide together what to do. Let's teach these filthy barbarians (and later Persians maybe?) that Christ is the one true god.

Note: If you're not regularly following, I'll link my update entries in the OP for easy access.

- - - - - - - -

Update 1
Song for the post

YouTube


So like I said in the OP, our objective was to get our of the middle of everyone (you start around northern Poland). We only have one unit, no settlement, and need to move away from the ever aggressive Huns. So we made our way to THE UNITED KINGDOM where we will plant our seed~ in the heart of those filthy Britons, and show them the way of Christ. If we can secure the entire region (or at least, let's say, the north), we don't have to worry about attacks on all sides.

Speaking of which...



Right out of the gate, the Vandal Kingdom is the ONLY faction I've met that actually see's me favorably. Their strength rating is also 3rd best, so you know what that means. After a turn or two, I secured a non-aggression pact with them. A bit later, they countered my offer for going to war with the Picts (more on that in a sec), with a marriage proposal.

Marrying one of his women is great to increase our closeness, and starting off I'm going to need as much help as I can get. I'll be looking to keep these guys as my allies for a long long time, unless they drag me into some war. They have a trade agreement with the Persians though (I think they're the strongest in the game), so I shouldn't have to worry about that.

So anyway, I invade mid Britannia and take the Picts declare war on me. I need a place to settle and defend against large numbers, so I invade one of the Caledonians unwalled cities and take it easily (however this makes me go to war with them as well). Naturally, both are trying to attack me.



The Picts and Calashits both team up to try and take me out and silence Christ. This must not be allowed to happen. To battle we go!

Battle
The great thing about cities? Choke points. When you're outnumbered, a single few units can pull a 300 and route waves of enemies. The Calashits tried to invade me from the East, and the Picts from the West.



I don't think the Caledonians expected such a slaughter, and by only two of my units. They had around 7. Again, choke points will be KEY for us when defending early on until we can push back.



Another choke point managed to tie the Picts up and me flank them to route them. At this point the units are about to break off and flee.



Which is what they did. After losing so many men, they threw their arms down and ran (A SHAMEFER DISPRAY!) like the stupid barbarians they are.



Or rather, they tried to run. The Caledonians lost a top general, and the Picts (as pictured above) lost their faction LEADER. Big mistake for them, as the balance will easily tip in my favor now.



They gave me a "close" victory (probably because I lost a disposable unit or two) instead of an heroic one, but the numbers don't lie. It was a slaughter for then.



And like I said, they lost their leader.

A few sides notes apart from me directly is that the Vandals decided to join me in war with the Picts, but they're all the way in Africa, sooo... I doubt they'll be of much help.



The Huns are also doing what they do best, and that is declaring war on everyone and burning shit.

Now for our decisions. My FIRST question is this.



This man is trying to sell a relic that apparently drowned a saint of ours 13 times (how do you drown 13 times? Unless this man is some wizard, you only drown once. Idiots), and wants us to take the bribe. Do we do so and take this holy relic? Or do we expose him of him crimes (read what it says lol)?

Lastly



I'll post a map update every entry to see us slowly expanding. Now, do we go up north and secure our northern borders against the weakened Picts who lost their leader? Or do we push south against the Caledonians? The latter will be the harder of the two options, and still leaves me vulnerable to the north however, but this is your guys's decisions! Like I said, we rise together and fall together.


Update 2
Here with a 2nd update. Not as much as the first, but still some important things.



The first thing to happen is I actually managed to get on more friendly terms with people. Not a bunch of red faces now, but people who are more or less indifferent to me, and slowly liking me more. I managed to secure a non-aggression pact with the FILTHY FRENCH, so that's good.



However the thorn at my side was securing the north I can't fight a war on two fronts just yet, so I need to do something.

Battle 1


With siege equipment in tow, I was ready to scale the walls and break the gates of these backwards barbarians.



They naturally sent all of their forces to meet my men. The battle would be won or lost depending on this skirmish.



However the problem was they didn't hold to a single chokepoint (gotta love the AI) but instead tried to meet me on multiple fronts. This proved to be their downfall, as their forces were quickly outflanked and routed, allowing me to push in. I killed their general in the process here too, which sent a moral shock to their entire army

(Note: there are 3 tiers of units, tier 1 being early/low grade units, tier 3 being top end. If a general dies in the midst of battle, the tier 1 will basically break easily with any sign of wrong doings, tier 2 will be shaken, and tier 3 will still fight on. These were tier 1, and usually make up the bulk of Barbarian armies)




In the end I managed to surround the last unit with pikemen holding them on one end, and infantry and cavalry destroying them from the back.



Naturally, a decisive victory for me.




BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GO- I mean Christ...



Bye bye Picts. You won't be missed.

An interesting thing to note as I pushed further south to wipe out the Caledonians, was the title boy was born. They play a cool cutscene too (give it a watch).

YouTube



Attila is born. Aka: Huns are now overpowered as shit for a while. Good thing I got out of there.



Nothing to note here. Simply auto-resolved the attacks from the Caledonians and took them out. EZ-PZ



And now here is the update of the map. As you can see, the entire North is ours, and we now control 1/3rd of Britannia Inferior (smug Rome names much?). The faction below me is the Geats (who somehow sailed all the way from Viking land over to there and got a city...), and below that is the Britain faction. Both are pretty even with me on strength level, but to the west is the FILTHY Irish (Ebdanians). They're at war with... all of them lol, so I think we'll attack them next as the logical choice.



And here is a random video for your pleasure.

YouTube
Last Edit: October 19, 2015, 11:30:24 PM by Luciana


 
True Turquoise
| MILF Hunter
 
more |
XBL: Anora Whisper
PSN: True_Turquoise
Steam: truturquoise
ID: True Turquoise
IP: Logged

25,656 posts
fuck you
 V I K I N G S


T6 | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: T6
IP: Logged

1,006 posts
But I guess in the end -- Sort of feels like everyday its harder to stay happy where you are. There are all these ways to look through the fence into your neighbor's yard.

Why even risk it? its safer to stay distant.
 V I K I N G S










Totally not cheating the votes


Kiwicake | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Wenggh
PSN: Wenggh
Steam: Wenggh
ID: Fruit
IP: Logged

4,832 posts
hey
wow tru how could you

The Vikings totally sound the most fun though


Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Yutaka
IP: Logged

13,009 posts
Almost always, with moderation
Well then.


Ushan | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Ushan the Panda
PSN: Ushan-the-Panda
Steam: Ushan
ID: Ushan
IP: Logged

7,340 posts
(っಠ‿ಠ)っ
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
(っ◕‿◕)っ
(っ ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ ° )っ
(っ ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)っ
(っ´°ω°`)っ
Teutons.


 
big sponge
| PP
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Commissar
IP: Logged

12,009 posts
 
Vikings


 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 
A 3, 3, 3 tie huh? Hm...

Alright, well I'll give it until 12:00 AM midnight tomorrow before I say it's done.


 
Naru
| The Tide Caller
 
more |
XBL: Naru No Baka
PSN:
Steam: The Tide Caller
ID: GasaiYuno
IP: Logged

18,629 posts
The Rage....
viking-chans


 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 
Vikings in the lead. Downloading a reskin/extra units just in case because the Viking culture pack is seriously underdeveloped and a lot look like Saxon reskins



Download came with this cool pic.


 
big sponge
| PP
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Lord Commissar
IP: Logged

12,009 posts
 
Everything needs to be posted in old Norse.


Ushan | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Ushan the Panda
PSN: Ushan-the-Panda
Steam: Ushan
ID: Ushan
IP: Logged

7,340 posts
(っಠ‿ಠ)っ
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
(っ◕‿◕)っ
(っ ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ ° )っ
(っ ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)っ
(っ´°ω°`)っ
Everything needs to be posted in old Norse.

Using the runic alphabet.


Kiwicake | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Wenggh
PSN: Wenggh
Steam: Wenggh
ID: Fruit
IP: Logged

4,832 posts
hey
Øh


Nick McIntyre | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Nick McIntyre92
PSN: NicholasMcIntyre
Steam: Nick McIntyre
ID: Nick McIntyre
IP: Logged

3,237 posts
 
Teuton(ic)s.

Piss off the pagans and cause a shit-ton of rebellions in the areas you capture.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
| Imperial Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Mr Psychologist
IP: Logged

17,318 posts
<.<
Teutons

Purge the Unbelievers for the Emperor gOD I think is what you call him.


Incan | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN: Saber_Class_Nero
Steam:
ID: Hakunetsu
IP: Logged

1,461 posts
 
Meant to pick Teutons, accidentally picked Geats >.>


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
| Imperial Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Mr Psychologist
IP: Logged

17,318 posts
<.<
TEUTONS STRONK


Enigmatic Dog | Member
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Enigmatic Dog
IP: Logged

36 posts
 
Play a good game, like Medieval.

Play as the Teutonic order and squish those wretched pagans.


Thun | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: Thunder
ID: Suarez
IP: Logged

9,084 posts
 
the GOAT faction


 
True Turquoise
| MILF Hunter
 
more |
XBL: Anora Whisper
PSN: True_Turquoise
Steam: truturquoise
ID: True Turquoise
IP: Logged

25,656 posts
fuck you
VIKING


 
Mat Cauthon
| Ravens
 
more |
So, taking Incan's word, we have a Tueton tie.


 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 
Play a good game, like Medieval.

Play as the Teutonic order and squish those wretched pagans.
That game's aged worse than your mother. I can't go back to those controls.


 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 
We have a tie between Teutons and Vikings. This will be a close one.


 
Mat Cauthon
| Ravens
 
more |
We have a tie between Teutons and Vikings. This will be a close one.
SOMEONE voted twice.
If you want to hold it as a tie, then we'll see what happens when you close it, but as it stands, if you don't count that double vote Teutons are winning.


 
gats
| alo
 
more |
XBL: goooots
PSN:
Steam: goootsby
ID: Gatsby
IP: Logged

19,383 posts
You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
if the final results remain a tie then we could split the factions to two people, that way we could experiment with two factions


Thun | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: Thunder
ID: Suarez
IP: Logged

9,084 posts
 
We have a tie between Teutons and Vikings. This will be a close one.
SOMEONE voted twice.
If you want to hold it as a tie, then we'll see what happens when you close it, but as it stands, if you don't count that double vote Teutons are winning.
relax i made the tie m8


Incan | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
more |
XBL:
PSN: Saber_Class_Nero
Steam:
ID: Hakunetsu
IP: Logged

1,461 posts
 
We have a tie between Teutons and Vikings. This will be a close one.
nigga it's currently 9-7 if you fix my voting error


 
Luciana
| Mythic Forum Ninja
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Luciana
IP: Logged

13,337 posts
 
I'm closing it at midnight anyway, that's more than enough time for people to decide what they want I believe.


 
True Turquoise
| MILF Hunter
 
more |
XBL: Anora Whisper
PSN: True_Turquoise
Steam: truturquoise
ID: True Turquoise
IP: Logged

25,656 posts
fuck you
We have a tie between Teutons and Vikings. This will be a close one.
SOMEONE voted twice.


 
Ender
| Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: EnderWolf1013
IP: Logged

10,441 posts
 
TEUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ONS